Office Humour – How to tick people off

Just a bit of fun!

  1. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
  2. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
  3. Stamp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  4. Insist on keeping your car windscreen wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  5. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  6. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
  7. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  8. Whilst driving to your airport parking site beep your horn and wave to strangers.
  9. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophecy.”
  10. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  11. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  12. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
  13. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
  14. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  16. If you’re dining in an airport hotel, decline to be seated in the restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the desk.
  17. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  18. type only in lowercase.
  19. dont use any punctuation either
  20. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re-route whole streets.
  21. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
    “What?”
    “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  22. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  23. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
  24. Ask people what gender they are.
  25. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  26. Sit in your front garden pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  27. Sing along at the opera.
  28. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
  29. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
  30. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
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Graham Greenaway

About Graham Greenaway

Graham Greenaway has worked in the family business since 1994. Having taken a break to attend University in Hertfordshire, Graham returned to FHR after graduating and became involved with creating the first version of the company website and later moved on to manage the on-line Marketing side of the business as well as the Web Development team. Away from FHR, Graham enjoys visiting the gym and socialising with friends. Follow Graham on Twitter

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